Cops Vs. Capes

Short blog about new short CD of short songs by Bat Matt. No, it's not Bat Paper because it's got guitars and some vocals but like that, it's coming out....soon....ish.

Bring me the changeling child!!!

Instead of just simply finishing Bat Paper's long-delayed "Theatre of the Omnivorous", I've decided to drop this Midsummer Night's Dream themed EP in light of my spending so much time around like Shakespeare and actors and shit. It's some really tough sounding grindcore kinda stuff that definitely doesn't sound like the songs that the fairies might have sang for Queen Titania.

everything to do with dagon

Day of the Tentacle is now a three piece. The original duo of Bat Matt and Dr. Clevins decided to add Mr. Grimm into the mix, being a noise-making Lovecraftian afficionato himself. Mr. Grimm will be contributing majorly to Day of the Tentacle's new Dagon-themed CD EP as well as adding an actual intro sequence to the band's previous endeavor, F'thagn. In addition to that, Diagnostic Theatre will soon be putting out an adaptation of Lovecraft's "Dagon". Day of the Tentacle's forthcoming EP will most likely be used in the sound design for the show, that much is certain as the two projects share members and contributors. When either is complete, everything to do with Dagon will appear here.

simple to slender

Rather than playing Simple in ISC's summer production of Merry Wives of Windsor, I've been promoted to playing the empty-headed Slender! I'm very excited because this is a bigger part than Simple, so I won't be so confidently clinging to the background action and reacting to lines - no more meek little Matt Callahan, he's gotsta step it up on this one. (We don't want a repeat of the Duke, now do we).

Hamlet at the Huntington

Shakespeare at Sunset at Huntington Art Gallery

Independent Shakespeare Company
in

Hamlet
by William Shakespeare

Saturday June 4, 2011
Huntington Library

entitlement

Entitlement

(A child runs onstage, they trip and fall and skin their knee.)

CHILD

Oooowww!!! DADDY!!!!!!!!

(The child’s father runs onstage as he is beckoned and rushes to the child’s aid.)

DADDY

Oh, sweetie pie, are you alright? What happened?

CHILD

(fighting through tears)
I fell…..and…..I tripped……and I hurt my kneeeeeeeeee!

DADDY

(takes out wallet and opens it)

Oh, darling. There, there. Here, take this and run over there and get yourself something.

CHILD

(tears coming to a slow stop)

Oh, daddy, thank you! But I don’t think this is enough for what I want.

DADDY

You’re telling me twenty dollars isn’t enough to get yourself a Bugs Bunny or something?

CHILD

What’s a Bugs Bunny?

DADDY

Just run along and go.

CHILD

But daddy!

DADDY

(taking out his wallet again)

You know we spoil your rotten, right?

CHILD

(taking money)

I don’t even know what that means.

(The child turns away in a huff and marches off with a particular sense of entitlement)

You are the Best

You are the Best
by Matt Callahan

(A police officer walks onstage and patrols about the space for a bit while a couple of street urchins come out onstage from opposite wing and set up a dice game. The children play for a while and adlib their conversation while the officer watches from a distance, probably out in the house somewhere.)

CHILDREN
Yeah!

(The officer approaches the group of kids and stops just a couple feet away.)

OFFICER
Alright kids, I've let you have your fun. Move along now.

(The children continue their cheering and their game as if they had not heard him.)

OFFICER
Children, gambling is illegal. Especially in public. Now move along or I'll have to get serious.

(One kid, the mouth of the group, stands apart from the group while they resume their game and approaches the officer slowly.)

OFFICER
Stay right where you are now, son. Stay back, you're making me nervous now.

MOUTH
We're not doing the public any harm here officer, please let us be.

OFFICER
Who do you think you are, son? You raising your voice to me?

MOUTH
No, officer. I'm peacefully contesting your decision here.

OFFICER
Get back over there with your friends and clean up your shit.

MOUTH
Officer, we're not some rag tag group of ninja thieves or anything. We're poor people trying to make a lot of money fast.

OFFICER
Illegally.

MOUTH
But better then robbing a store or a bank.

OFFICER
You guys been thinking about doing that? What's your name.

(Another young man rises from the group and approaches the two of them downstage. The officer doesn't see him coming or the spray can in his hand. He throws MOUTH the can who sprays the officer in the eyes with it.)

OFFICER
AHHHHHHHHH!!! OH! Oh my God!

(His cries have completely interrupted the action upstage and the rest of the group rise to their feet and turn their attention to the officer. They do not speak though they show obvious concern for the police officer.)

MOUTH
You guys don't agree, huh? Well say something.

(No one says anything except for the officer crying on the ground. He rises to his feet, his face streaming with tears, and swings his baton wildly about the stage trying to hit anything and everything. The MOUTH and his SECOND dodge about to avoid his attacks. The SECOND kicks the officer's baton away and the MOUTH picks it up. He starts hitting it against the ground next to the officer's head with a rhythm that starts to pick up in pace while his SECOND has been beating on the officer since he disarmed him.)

MOUTH
You boys still disagree?!

OFFICER
Boys, boys, why don't you say something! Say something!

(The MOUTH and his SECOND start to beat on the officer with their firsts and the baton. The light focuses on the terror downstage and fades to black slowly while the grim action unfolds.)


BEAT.

(The lights fade back up slowly on actors in silhouette when the officer begins to rise. He reaches for his gun and points it at the group, whereupon they begin to panic and move frantically about the stage so as to avoid being shot. The officer methodically shoots each one dead despite their effort.)

OFFICER
Take that, shitty ending.

END.

7 Plays, 7 Days project

I'm borrowing an idea from a playwright I really like, Susan Lori-Parks. I have a collection of short plays by her titled 365 Days/365 Plays. You can guess as to what she did for the year before publishing. So I figured as an exercise to keep my imagination in shape, I'd try a week of writing a short play every day. I don't know when I'll start, that's part of the test and all but I know I'll be posting it here as a way of keeping me on track. You may see things posted soon. I hope they're not bad.

i am cobweb

a fairy.

Dollars, Lots of 'Em

"Dollars, Lots of ‘Em"

HIM
None of your business.

HER
No one’s ever spoken like this to me before.

HIM
Yeah, well get used to it.

HER
Oh shit, get down!

She lunges in front of him and covers his body with hers, we hear the sounds of machine gun fire and she is struck down.

HIM
Jesus! Oh, Jesus! Oh my god, are you alright?!

She gets up and stands upright.

HER
Yes, I am, after all, well protected.

HIM
Protected by what?

She takes out wads of hundred dollar bills.

HER
Dollars, lots of ‘em.

END.

Diagnostic Comedy Logo

So we are thinking about going with this for the logo for the comedy group.

Perverted Dungeon Master

Here's the new sketch from Diagnostic's emerging comedy group: